This video provides an excellent how-to on what do do when you see a pretty woman on the subway that you are interested in. Take notes, boys, because this method, I’m pretty sure, is foolproof. I am not joking or in any way being sarcastic.

Gift giving is a tough subject. You never know who you’re supposed to be getting a gift for, or how much money you should spend, or whether or not they’ll even like what you choose. And when you aren’t in a relationship with some, but you are definitely “CLOSE” (ifyaknowhwatImean-hint-hint), it’s extra tough to figure out if you should get them a gift.

So, for the first time ever, we bring you a no-fail list of gifts for that special someone who occasionally shares your bed but not always only when you’re horny. Here is BCU’s top 5 list of things to buy your booty call!

For a dude:

1. Cosmopolitan’s Satisfy a Woman Every Single Time

At just over $12, this will be the gift that keeps on giving. Sure, Cosmo is notorious for giving miserable, borderline evil sex advice to women, but we imagine they know what they’re talking about in this book. Ladies, this book will be a gift to your fave booty call, but it’s also a gift to yourself ;)… just make sure to preface it with “NOT THAT YOU NEED IT BUT…”

For a lady:

2. Champagne and chocolate

And I don’t mean some M&Ms and a bottle of Andre. Shell out $20 and you can get a semi-decent bottle of wine and a box of Godiva chocolates that will, with any luck, get you BOTH in the mood!

3. A coupon for a massage (or more)

If you’re low on funds this year (and um, who isn’t?) print out a “coupon” for your booty call to redeem for one 30 minute massage, foot rub, or something a little more on the erotic side! Make it official by specifying an expiration date and adding terms and conditions, like “may not occur before 9pm and must be naked at time of redemption.”

4. These SEXY calendars

The 2012 “Reading is Sexy” calendar might not being as elite as its Pirelli cousin, but it still features 12 sexy months of near-naked hotties in the middle of a very hot act… READING! Not what you expected? Well, we promise, it’s just as risque as you’d want. Plus, 100% of the proceeds go to buying books for children who have none, so you can feel good about your purchase. Remember, reading is sexy, and so is being charitable!

5. The gift of health

We might not be able to keep away those winter colds, but you can ensure your (and your booty call’s) sexual health this holiday season by giving them a box of condoms! And over at Condomania, the options are endless, from glow in the dark to super ribbed or even CUSTOM FIT. This holiday season, say NO to STDs and pregnancy (but yes to fun hook ups) by scooping these up for your favorite booty call… or yourself!

I would just like to be the first to ask which one of you invented a time machine and sped time forward at 2x speed in the past twelve months. Because there is no way in hell that it is already December. I mean, it seems like just yesterday I was gagging back vomit at this video and wondering when the hell “winning” was going to end (by the way, it ended, right? We’re all done with that?). There is no way that 2012 is just 30ish days away unless someone, AND IT’S PROBABLY ONE OF YOU, has been pushing fast-foward every couple weeks.

Needless to say, time machine or not, December is here. The temperature is dropping and the smell of fireplaces is in the air. With people bundling up and putting on their winter weight, you might think this is the time of year to avoid getting frisky with a booty call, but guess what, genius, YOU’RE WRONG. December is the BEST month for booty calls, and here’s why:

1. Body Warmth

Speaking of fast forward buttons, the coldness of winter may be your personal fast forward button to getting laid. “Oh my, it’s chilly!” “Oh here, share my umbrella!” “Boy my hands are cold…” “You know the warmest place on your body is your crotch, right?” All perfectly acceptable greetings to a sexy stranger you meet out and about (okay maybe not the last one). And if there is a friend you’ve been looking to make your friend with benefits, inviting them for a movie and a cuddle at your place is the ultimate step one into getting some winter booty.

2. Hot Buttered Rum

I’m just going to leave this right here.

3. Hot showers – the green way

This is a month when your water conservation efforts tend to taper back a bit – there are just some mornings when a hot shower is the only way to warm your cold bones! However, you can do your part to save water by sharing your shower with a sexy single. We all know that showering together is almost never as hot as you want it to be (ever backed up against a cold shower wall?), so invest in a shower head like this one to ensure you both get equal hot water time. And you know, hot water time, too…

4. Warding off SAD

Many people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder during the winter months, feeling depressed and suffering from low energy and Vitamin D deficiency. You can help ward off this depression by hopping between the sheets with a sexy single! Having sex helps release the hormone oxytocin, which, according to MSNBC, “causes relaxation and feelings of love and bonding, and endorphins are the body’s natural painkillers.” Need we say more?

5. OnlineBootyCall is better than ever!

Every week we bring you testiMOANials that show the tons of singles that are meeting, hooking up, and even occasionally finding unexpected romance at OBC. Sure it’s cold, and heading out into the treacherous weather to meet singles at bars sound awful, but that’s not the only way to meet singles, you know. Instead of wallowing on the couch in sweatpants watching the USA channel everyday, hop on OBC and find yourself a December booty call! There are members signing up every day looking for a steamy cure for the winter blues… why don’t YOU be that cure? ;)

Thanks for being a faithful reader of BootyCallU, have a great weekend, and don’t forget to start your search here for your winter hook up today!

image courtesy of jeannestjames

via yuanadesukma

I’ve recently been on a Netflix streaming documentary kick, which means of course that I am now a certified genius in all areas from dinosaur fossilization to white power prison gangs and trickle-down economics. Send me your taxes and any possible bones you find in your backyard and I will take care of them while telling you a story about the KKK.

All jokes aside, if there is one thing I feel much more educated about since my documentary-marathon, it is that Americans need to eat better. “Duh,” - you. “Shut up and listen,” – me.

According to countless doctors, our Western diet contributes heavily (if not almost solely) to the rising percentage of middle aged adults being stricken with cancers and other diseases. Our over-consumption of meat, dairy, and processed foods has put the US in the lowest percentile of overall health, with over 40% of Americans in the obese category, despite the fact that our country spends more on heathcare than even on defense spending.

“Get to the erection part plz” – you

“OKAY GOD OKAY” – me

One of the most striking things doctors and scientists are realize is how interconnected the body is, and the penis is not an exception. Viagra, the top selling erectile-dysfunction pill on the market, was originally made for hypertension, or high blood pressure. It increases blood flow to the penis and assists in getting and maintaining an erection, and is the primary treatment for erectile-dysfunction today. According to many scientists and doctors, though, it doesn’t need to be.

By switching to a solely plant-based diet and nixing processed and fast foods from your diet, as well as adding exercise, you can treat your own erectile dysfunction without the need to pop little blue pills every time you want to have a roll in the hay.

Via Gawker:

Urologist Dr. Kevin Billups told Health.com that the link between heart health and ED “hasn’t become the public health message that it should be,” and explained that “doctors and other experts need to do a better of job of informing the public that a healthier heart often means better erections.”

So you – yeah you, the one with the Arby’s and a 64 ounce Coke. Grab yourself some carrots and a water bottle and check out these documentaries to improve your chances of maintaining your penis-power for decades to come. Your booty calls will thank you!

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

Food, Inc.

Food Matters

Forks over Knives

via marriedbefore25.blogspot

When I first read the headline for this Time Magazine article, I believed it was saying that those who get married before the age of 18 are probably have some preexisting mental issues, and I was taken aback. I knew that young married couples were probably misinformed and likely very naive, but psychologically unstable? YEESH.

Turns out the headline actually meant the reverse of that. Time Magazine’s report on a study Dr. Yann Le Strat implies that girls who marry before the age of 18 have a “41% increased risk of… depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and alcohol and drug addiction.”

Seems to make quite the case for casual dating until your later years, I’d say. Although Dr. Le Strat did not make any assumptions why this psychological issues might arise, it’s safe to say that it may be due to the stress marriage puts on a couple, the high levels of responsibility to maintain a marriage (especially before you are even legally allowed to drink alcohol or rent a car!), and the very real possibility that infidelity will occur when you marry the first person you sleep with.

Of course, this study was the first of its kind and it will surely take much more research to find out if there is just a correlation or if there is actual causation, but for no we’d suggest not to risk it. Enjoy the single life into your twenties, and only settle down when you are mentally prepared for fidelity.

Reason #22,701 not to get married (too early): you might actually lose your mind.

I’m trying to think of like, a really biting and witty response to this man who jokingly invited a VERY dedicated actor dressed as the character Gollum from Lord of the Rings to be the ring-presenter at his OWN WEDDING, but I couldn’t.

So instead, enjoy Reason #3,088 not to get married – your future spouse might jokingly invite a VERY dedicated actor dressed as the character Gollum from Lord of the Rings to be the RING-PRESENTER at your wedding.

Finally, a woman who knows how to land a man!

(Just so we’re on the same page, THIS IS A JOKE. DO NOT FLIRT LIKE THIS WOMAN. SHE IS A TERRIFYING CREEP WITH A THICK ACCENT AND HORRIBLE SUIT DRESSES. )

Poor Melvin. He was rightfully terrified.

In this day and age, where celebrities and politicians are getting their phones hacked and their text messages leaked, I think it’s time we have another sit down and talk about sexting.

As you probably, know, sexting is the act of sending sexually themed text messages and photos to a person of interest in your life. It’s a great way to flirt and gauge the interest of a potential hook up. For example, one time some dude texted me and said “hey if u get drunk tonight wanna come over and make out =P?” and I replied with “not at all” and then we never spoke again. Embarrassing, sure, but at least he gauged my interest (none whatsoever) without having to look me in the face. On the other hand, if you get lucky and find someone who DOES want to sext with you, you’ll want to make sure you follow five simple rules to ensure you keep your dignity in a world full of a-holes.

1. ALWAYS DELETE

For two reasons… 1) you don’t want that evidence lying in your phone, because what if you get famous and someone hacks your memory card, and 2) you never know if you’ll be showing a friend your sweet Angry Birds score on your phone and accidentally open an unfortunately intimate photo of yourself. You might be close friends, but you probably don’t want to be THAT close.

2. ALWAYS OBSCURE

Your face, noticeable features, clothing, tattoos, or obvious places in your house. That way, if in the future someone gets vindictive and decides to post the photo of you for all the internet to see, you can at least retain some semblance of pride by denying that it’s you. If you have a straight-on of your face and your tramp stamp in the 1880s vintage one-of-a-kind mirror in your bedroom, you probably won’t get very far saying “nuh uhhhh, not me!”

3. ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK

This is tough when you’re drunk, which is why drunk-sexting is something you should avoid at all costs (yeah right, I know), but ALWAYS double, triple, quadruple check what you’re doing before you hit “Send.” There are no take-backs in text messages, and no such thing as “permanently delete from internet.” You don’t want to end up with an embarrassment like Anthony Weiner’s or Tiger Woods’, and you definitely don’t want to send a photo of your junk to your mom. There is no such thing as being too careful.

Following those three rules (and doing your best not to drunk sext) should help to ensure you don’t become the next Anthony Weiner, who is probably sitting with sweaty palms wondering what might come out next. Sure you might be a 20-something nobody right now, but you never know when someone might have a vendetta against you… and then BOOM. The whole world will know your hairy ass or your affinity for being choked during sex. Make 2011 your year to safe sext and you’ll never have to suffer the shameful agony that Weiner, Woods, and Williams’ all went through. I’m sure if you ask them, they wish they’d tuned into Sexting 101.

That headline might take the cake for biggest hype for the smallest payout, so apologies in advance…

Reese Witherspoon made an appearance at the MTV Movie Awards this past weekend when she won the “My Generation” Award (wut?) and made a subtle jab at Blake Lively and other starlets who have had nude pics leak online (see: Vanessa Hudgens, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton), when she said,

I get it, girls, that it’s cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. When I came up in the business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cellphone, you hide your face, people! Hide your face!

We’re sure that Miss Lively and others were not totally pleased by the elbow to the ribs that good-girl Witherspoon gave them, but we do have to give her credit for speaking the truth. When it comes to sexting in a world where anything and everything you do can be uploaded to the internet in a matter of milliseconds, keeping your anonymity somehow is a necessity. As we discussed in the Anthony Weiner article, the chance that you could accidentally hit “SEND TO FACEBOOK AND TWITTER AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD AND ALSO OTHER PLANETS” is just one scroll click away from “text to person.” To keep your face out of pictures is probably some sage advice.

Check back tomorrow for BCU’s top 5 tips for sexting… we’ll cover the based that Reese didn’t.