Craiglist’s “casual encounters” section is a virtual candy store of weird fetishes, transsexual prostitution, and gay dudes who refuse to accept their gayness and instead rely on “mutual touching, I’m not gay” experiences. And yet, even I was surprised when I came across this ad for an orgy (I’m sorry, “friendly adult party”) at the Penny Arcade gamer festival in Seattle in September. Hilariously enough, it was updated by the poster who was apparently caught off guard that most of the responses were from single dudes. At a video gamer festival? NO WAY.

Click for the full version.

When a lady walks by and she’s wearing like, I don’t know, thin white pants, or a skin-tight dress, or teeny short shorts, and you’re thinking like, man, she really needs some work down there, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it

A) She should probably hit the gym.

B) She should cut back on the doughnuts.

C) She should probably start buying a size larger, or

D) She should definitely get a BOOTY ENHANCEMENT spell cast by a powerful Wiccan Witch. Definitely.

We at BCU tend to either A, B, or C, or maybe a combination of them all. But hey, what do we know*, right? I mean for $8.95, it’s quite a steal! And free shipping?! SIGN ME UP. Just kidding. Don’t do that.

**Actually, we know that this is probably a ridiculous ploy by some woman who smells like cat litter and nag champa and lives in an attic somewhere.

Want someone’s blood-stained futon?

Seriously in need of a VHS copy of Cruel Intentions?

Have an intense desire an Inception themed rim job?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, head on down to the Manhattan, New York Craigslist page. Browse the misspelled ads and try and steer clear of the prostitution stings and you’ll find each of these things. Especially the last one. (Click below to see the ad in all its frightening glory)

img by duane hansen @ wayfaringfrog

A recent LIFE slideshow listed the ways that New Yorkers are able to spot a tourist — from how slow they walk to how they gawk at celebrities. As a person who is planning on making a trip to the other coast this year, I felt a little miffed (codeword for annoyed as s***), because everywhere in the world is like “Blah blah tourists, why do you look like a tourist blah blah?” And I’m like, “Because I’m a tourist, blah blah?” So fine, if everyone is boarding the tourist-hating bus, then I will too. Because, sure, you New Yorkers have to deal with tourists, but for the most part, they stick to the comparatively small Times Square, where as here in San Diego, they spread like a quickly moving disease to every available orifice in our fine city.  So, in return, here are the top 7 ways we know that YOU’RE tourists.

7) Your swim attire is all wrong.

We in San Diego like to differentiate ourselves from LA folk — we’re more laid back, less superficial, not as trendy. Until it comes to your swimwear. If your board shorts have elastic waistbands? DEALBREAKER. Do you have beer brand flip flops? DEALBREAKER. Is there ANYTHING with hibiscus flowers on it? GET OUT.

6) You have plans to go to Sea World AND the Zoo

World famous, schmorld famous. We’ve all been to the zoo so many times that taking visiting relatives or friends has become a task more than anything. “There’s a… thing with legs, and there is an empty cage, and there’s SUCH A BIG HILL OH GOD CAN WE LEAVE YET.” And Sea World? We’d rather hit our heads repeatedly on a cement brick.

5) You are taking pictures of your food

This is generally a  foreigner thing, like “Sweet God look at these proportions, no wonder Americans are such fatasses. Let’s pretend we ate this and then don’t.”

4) You are on a tour… but of what?

I always notice these people out and about on guided tours and the guide is pointing up at a building, and I’m like, that building is 5 years old, what could you possibly be learning? That one time Hilary Duff’s mom’s cousin stayed there? Sure, San Diego’s been around for a while, but for the most part, we’ve ripped down the historical junk to make room for yogurt shops and Hooters. Give me twenty bucks and I’ll show you where Alonzo Horton use to stick his P in prostitute’s Vs, because seriously that’s the only interesting thing we’ve got. And also that place is a nightclub now. Go to the beach, stupid.

3) You’re in the water, at the beach, in June,  and also you have SO MUCH STUFF.

What are you doing? Haven’t you heard of June gloom? That water is like, 30 degrees and you look miserable. And also, why did you and your family build a COMPOUND of umbrellas and tents and coolers and more umbrellas? Isn’t the point here to be in the sun?

2) You’re riding the trolley.

Everyone knows San Diego’s mass transit is a joke. It’s unpredictable, unpractical, unreliable, and gross. I mean, in a city that is 40% coastline, you’d think our public transit would go, oh I don’t know, to the beach? Or the airport? Or anywhere that people want to go? We all go ahead and assume that anyone getting off the trolley in a polo shirt is probably straight off the airplane, or should I say cab from the airplane because the trolley doesn’t even go to the airport.

1) You are at Dick’s Last Resort.

No one goes to Dick’s.

I guess I should probably restate that subject line as “Reflections on Comic-Con 2010 from Someone Who Went for the Last Five Minutes of One Day,” but that’s just not as catchy, is it? I’ll be honest, my experience of this year’s SDCC International was… less than stellar. I spent most of the weekend slinging Dr. Peppers to overweight (and unsocial) 25 year olds and their mothers, but for the very enjoyable 12th of an hour I spent within the walls of the convention, I saw enough to last me a lifetime.

That being said, here are some reflections on Comic Con 2010.

1) I MET CLIFF Mother F***ing BLESZINSKI

Oh don’t act like you don’t know who he is. You don’t? Are you serious? Well. Now I feel like a nerd. Cliff Bleszinski (AKA CliffyB, Dude Huge) is the creator of the nothing-but-awesome Xbox franchise “Gears Of War,” and let me tell you what, non-nerds, that game is. The. S***. Also, the dude is loaded, and also, he’s got a BANGIN’ girlfriend. This event made my weekend.

2) THE STEAMPUNKS. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE.

Give me your Pikachus, your zombies, your (not relevant since 2006) Jack Sparrows, I’ll take them all. But this whole steampunk thing is undeniably the most annoying Comic-Con trend EVER. I’ll never understand what the appeal is to attaching copper gears and multi-faceted monocles to your face, but do what makes you happy unless that includes being a huge douche, i.e. jamming your parasol in my face when I’m just trying to check out the True Blood booth. Ugh.

3) So. Many. Lines.

I get irritated with everyday, average San Diego rush hours and lines at Chipotle during lunchtime. How these kids stood in line for half a day just to sit four and half miles away from the panel of artists is beyond me. How someone stabbed someone else in the eye for stealing their four and a half mile away seat, well, I kinda get that.

4) 72 hours in the same outfit? You got it!

Over the span of the three weekend days in the Gaslamp I must have seen a half dozen nerds in the exact same outfit the entire time. Knowing that a vast majority of the hotels downtown don’t offer affordable laundry services, and also know that vinyl doesn’t breathe well, and ALSO knowing that waiting in line amongst 7,000 other people for 6 hours makes you hot and sweaty, I am glad I shelled out the money to rent a gas mask for my time inside the building.

5) Westboro Baptist Church: Hilariously awful. Still.

Oh, WBC, when will you learn not to post your protest schedule on the internetz, especially when your protest is at a convention that is 95% people who spend ALL DAY on the internet? When you decided to picket Comic-Con because “Batman is a false idol,” did you not expect the convention-goers to but out their best witty comebacks on signs that put yours to shame?

Images provided by ComicsAlliance, VintageComputing, and Wired