Chris Brown is Selling Puppies

What day is it? It’s the 24th of April, right? I am assuming that it is, because yesterday was the 23rd. I mean, we didn’t accidentally step into some time warp black hole and end up on April Fools Day, did we? IT MUST BE, RIGHT, because there is no way that this headline isn’t some cruel joke?

Alas, it appears we are still moving forward in time, and the news that Chris Brown, aka That Guy That Beat Rihanna’s Face In, aka That Guy That Has Severe Anger Issues, Aka That Guy That Might Be a Closeted Homosexual, aka THE WORST, has decided that his next venture is the breeding and sale of CUDDLY, ADORABLE, OVERPOPULATED PIT BULL PUPPIES.

According to BuzzFeed, Chris Brown’s mother tweeted a link to a website where she and her son are selling purebred pit bulls for $1,000 a piece.

There is something to say to the fact that the breed he chose is well-known to be inherently aggressive, but it’s a BIGGER, MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FACT that literally MILLIONS of animals are entered into, and eventually euthanized, in shelters every year, and the idea of a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE singer with a huge influence over fans would breed puppies to make money, instead of advocating for the animals that are left to die without ever experiencing the love of a family, is pretty f***ing despicable.

Chalk this one up on the Stupid Sh*t Chris Brown Has Done Oh My God I Hate Him So Much list. To quell your anger (I assume you’re as angry as me), here is a picture of the sickeningly adorable rescue puppy I adopted after a bath:

Say it with me: AWWWWWWWWW.