How To: Have a Booty-ful Summer

 

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We spend a lot of time together, readers, laughing at dumb criminals and learning about sex news and watching crazy videos. However, sometimes we have to remember that this is Booty Call University, and every once in a while (like once every two weeks depending on how hungover you might be) you actually have to show up to class. And since summer is just about in full swing, we figured we’d drop some knowledge on how to snag some summer lovin that will make 2011 your best year yet!

1. Make yourSELF the best you can be

Before you start going around judging potential hook ups in the summer sun, make sure that you yourself are lookin’ fly. When was the last time you got a haircut? Do you need to, ahem, change your diet and workout plan? Are you still wearing last years’ cheap-ass flip flops from when you lost your nice ones in Havasu? And on that note, HOW ARE YOUR FEET LOOKING? We by no means believe in superficiality, but if you are walking around looking like a mess, how are you going to have the confidence (and the gall) to pick the best booty out there? Take some time to look in the mirror and work on the things you’ve been hiding under sweatshirts and beanies for the past few months. Oh, and stock up on contraception. No need to be spreading diseases or makin’ babies this summer.

2. Hang out at the right places

The summer is all about finding cool, casual people who are down to have fun and hook up without a big commitment or drama. Because of this, I would advise to steer clear of the clubs. The ladies and gents who frequent epilepsy-inducing nightclubs in the middle of the hottest season of the year are PROBABLY not the type you want to bring home. They’re high-maintenance and expensive, and probably will take more work than they’re worth. Instead, hit up smaller venues like hip gastropubs and beachside bars that are more “sandals and daisy dukes” than “sky-high heels and glittery dress.” That’s where you’ll find the type of folk who are down (in more ways than one).

3. Be forward, but not creepy

Honesty is always the best policy, but if you are dancing with a hottie and chatting over drinks, there is no need to yell “HEY I’M REALLY JUST LOOKING FOR SEX RIGHT NOW OKAY NOT A RELATIONSHIP SORRY LET’S GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE?!” over the music (this is specifically addressed to guys. Ladies – dudes might really be into this. I’m not sure). Instead, enjoy each others company, get flirtatious, and maybe try and go home alone with just their number the first night. After a couple days, either call or send a text that explains you aren’t looking for anything serious but had a lot of fun and would love to hang out again, or something of that nature. That way you put your intentions on the table without sounding like a pervy creep with no tact.

4. Keep your options open

Instead of claiming the first person you meet as your summer hook up, make a rule that you’ll only call once a week or so. If you immediately latch onto the first person you hook up with, you’ll end up ditching out on your friends and potentially missing out on a new, even better hook up that’s waiting in the wings. Keep getting yourself out there and you’ll get a view of the millions of fish in the sea.

5. Most importantly: have fun

All these rules are relative, of course, to your desires and experience. Perhaps you are just looking for one fling – that’s okay… and maybe nightclubs are just your thing and you like the scene better. Also cool. However, above all, you must remember that summer is about enjoying the season and all it has to offer and HAVE FUN. The second things start heading south. Pull back, evaluate, and see what you need to do to be your happiest! The whole point of casual dating is to enjoy being young and carefree, instead of feeling suffocated and limited. So have fun, get laid, and have a BOOTY-FUL summer!

 

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