Lady Gaga’s Meat Dress

Let’s me preface this rant by saying I love meat. I eat just about every animal out there, and would probably wear leather if it didn’t look so god-awful on me. That being said, COME ON, LADY GAGA. THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND.

Lady Gaga won 8 awards at the VMAs last night, all while donning this meat… um… “ensemble,” complete with meat shoes and meat … uh… yarmulke? I don’t know. I don’t know why she has meat on her head. Needless to say (spoiler alert) people are PISSED. The vegetarians are pissed, the animal lovers are pissed, the WORLD is pissed. I am personally offended, because why waste what could potentially be a super delicious BBQ cookout by slathering it all over your weirdly shaped, most likely coked-out body? As I’ve decided that since Lady Gaga seems to be on a mission to make as many people as furious as humanly possible, here are some suggestions for future award show attire.

1) Nothing. (Bo-ring)

2) A bald eagle feather boa

3) A stem-cell necklace with certified blood diamond

4) A jumpsuit made of Bible pages

5) A dress made of genuine yellow stars of David from the Holocaust