Sex Study Actually Just Guy Paying Women for Sex

in related news: there is probably not really candy in there.

Remember just yesterday when I said “man there sure are a whole lot of sex studies around these days,” and you were like “yeah, you’re so right, just like about everything!” or something like that? Well it turns out some of those studies might be as superfluous as I thought. According to SeattlePi, a man at University of Washington had a very creative way of getting laid by paying women money – women who WEREN’T prostitutes. Apparently he printed out hundreds of fliers advertising a “sexology study” to undergrads, offering $400 to $650 for each “participant”. From the flier:

“We are looking for people who will like to participate in a scientific study of SEXOLOGY: interests, behavior, and function.

We are studying sexology, the response to: How much of people’s attraction comes from their imagined ideal? How much do touch, visual or hearing someone voice attributes to getting a person attention? 3) What are individual preference for beauty? 4) What role do money play and getting someone attention?

How could you NOT immediately sign up when a flier is so eloquent and not at all grammatically incorrect, right? Needless to say, the alleged victims claim they then met with the suspect in empty classrooms and gave their personal information, after which they were shown adult videos and pictures and on two occasions were brought to a motel room for some “role play” with the suspect, who is either named Quinton Brown of Quinton Johnson. Campus police are warning students to be wary, and probably avoid creepy dudes in empty classrooms showing them porn.

On a completely unrelated note, I am an economister by trade and am hosting a study wherein people give me their moneys and then I will see what function in society me with their money serves? You may send your money to my office and I will give it back once the dethroned prince of Nigeria gets back to me I promises.