Sexting 101

In this day and age, where celebrities and politicians are getting their phones hacked and their text messages leaked, I think it’s time we have another sit down and talk about sexting.

As you probably, know, sexting is the act of sending sexually themed text messages and photos to a person of interest in your life. It’s a great way to flirt and gauge the interest of a potential hook up. For example, one time some dude texted me and said “hey if u get drunk tonight wanna come over and make out =P?” and I replied with “not at all” and then we never spoke again. Embarrassing, sure, but at least he gauged my interest (none whatsoever) without having to look me in the face. On the other hand, if you get lucky and find someone who DOES want to sext with you, you’ll want to make sure you follow five simple rules to ensure you keep your dignity in a world full of a-holes.

1. ALWAYS DELETE

For two reasons… 1) you don’t want that evidence lying in your phone, because what if you get famous and someone hacks your memory card, and 2) you never know if you’ll be showing a friend your sweet Angry Birds score on your phone and accidentally open an unfortunately intimate photo of yourself. You might be close friends, but you probably don’t want to be THAT close.

2. ALWAYS OBSCURE

Your face, noticeable features, clothing, tattoos, or obvious places in your house. That way, if in the future someone gets vindictive and decides to post the photo of you for all the internet to see, you can at least retain some semblance of pride by denying that it’s you. If you have a straight-on of your face and your tramp stamp in the 1880s vintage one-of-a-kind mirror in your bedroom, you probably won’t get very far saying “nuh uhhhh, not me!”

3. ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK

This is tough when you’re drunk, which is why drunk-sexting is something you should avoid at all costs (yeah right, I know), but ALWAYS double, triple, quadruple check what you’re doing before you hit “Send.” There are no take-backs in text messages, and no such thing as “permanently delete from internet.” You don’t want to end up with an embarrassment like Anthony Weiner’s or Tiger Woods’, and you definitely don’t want to send a photo of your junk to your mom. There is no such thing as being too careful.

 

Following those three rules (and doing your best not to drunk sext) should help to ensure you don’t become the next Anthony Weiner, who is probably sitting with sweaty palms wondering what might come out next. Sure you might be a 20-something nobody right now, but you never know when someone might have a vendetta against you… and then BOOM. The whole world will know your hairy ass or your affinity for being choked during sex. Make 2011 your year to safe sext and you’ll never have to suffer the shameful agony that Weiner, Woods, and Williams’ all went through. I’m sure if you ask them, they wish they’d tuned into Sexting 101.