Stoner Steals Ambulance From House Fire

We’ve written many posts about the dangers of the “bath salts” drug – a mix of meth-amphetamines that have cause people to rape and murder goats and drink gallons of hand sanitizer, when it comes to marijuana, I would be remiss to call it a dangerous drug. And to be fair, my state of California has de-criminalized possession of under an ounce, so I don’t feel wrong in saying “schwatevs.” While I don’t personally partake in pot-smokin*, I definitely don’t see the issue if some of-age adults want to partake in an after work toke to chill out. God knows alcohol has caused much more poor decision-making than pot, despite what those “above the influence” commercials say.

Well, that’s what I thought until this morning, when I read about this gentleman from Phoenix, Arizona, who was arrested over the weekend for stealing an ambulance that was left running on his street while a fire ravaged his neighbors home. According to the New York Daily News, a rather stoned Travis Ward spotted the running ambulance at about 4 a.m, hopped in the driver’s seat, and drove it off “a few blocks,” over peoples’ lawns and right over a stop sign (yes – over, not through). His joy ride ended, though, when he plowed the emergency vehicle right into a house, destroying the ambulance and causing a ton of damage to the home. Luckily no one was hurt, but Ward is being charged with theft and criminal damage and making pot look bad when I am 99% sure that this is the result of not enough oxygen to the brain at birth, AKA mental retardation.

*except for the occasional movie watching, theme park adventure, camping trip, car ride, hike, new South Park episode, or extremely painful hangover.