img @ gettyimages

It’s a big day for Team OBC over here: it’s Taco Tuesday, I received my monthly Cheese Aficionado magazine, and OH YEAH GUESS WHAT, OnlineBootyCall.com reached 5 MILLION MEMBERS! Can you believe it? To put that in perspective, if we were a city, we’d have a bigger population than that of Los Angeles and San Francisco combined! And if we were a country, we’d be somewhere in between Turkmenistan and Singapore! And if we were an awesome OBC party island, we’d be as big as Sicily, which is party of Italy, so… free pizza for everyone!

Okay, not really about the pizza thing, but HEY! We’re very proud to announce this big milestone, as well as another exciting one: we’ve officially trademarked the term “Booty Call”! Being the number one casual dating site in the world, we believe we’ve earned it, but of course we couldn’t do it without you, our awesome, loyal members. So a huge thank you to all of you, and we hope we’ve made you proud!

Read the whole press release about these exciting milestones at BusinessWire!

Parisian designer Rick Owen (Rick Owens? That’s like, the least French name I’ve ever heard) just came up with a fascinating piece of furniture: a 2 ton bed made with alabaster, bronze and marble, called Pavane for a Dead Princess, which sounds exactly like a place that you’d die in your sleep.

It may seem crazy to buy an art piece to sleep on, but trust us, there are benefits!

1. Your friends will never, ever help you move.

2. When bringing a booty call over, you’ll have to be extra careful not to hit her head on the bed frame, because she could literally die.

3. You won’t be able to pay your rent.

4. The floor of your apartment could cave in, plummeting you to your death.

5. Hitting your shin on the side of the bed could result in bone fragments flying all over the room! Festive!

Read more at Asylum

img via digitalblueglobal

The Curse of the Bad Booty Call is one that we’ve all encountered. You mistakenly bring someone home thinking you’ll have an awesome hookup and call it a night, but sometime between hailing a cab and arriving at your front door you realize this is the 2nd worst idea, right after throwing your cat off the roof with a homemade parachute in 1st grade (true story). Maybe they’re not looking so sexy in the light, or they’ve started talking about making babies. Either way, it’s a do or die situation.

On a traditional date at a dinner table in a restaurant, you could easily say, “thank you so much for dinner, I really have to be going.” Unfortunately, you’ve already got them sitting on your couch, and they are expecting some booty tonight. How do you get them off your leather couch and out of your life? Here are a few tips to get you outta this Bad Booty Predicament.

1) Think ahead

This one won’t help you if you’re already in the midst of a terrible hook up, but if you have time to prepare, you should have a good friend call at a designated time with an “emergency” that they “really need your help with,” like, seriously “right now.” Even if your date knows you’re bluffing, it’s probably because someone’s pulled this card on them before, so they know the drill.

2) Develop a strange nervous twitch

Pulling an Eric Cartman from South Park spouting uncontrollable obscenities isn’t the key here. Just something small, subtle, and irritating will work. Maybe a weird slurp every few minutes or a left eye wink will look weird enough that they’ll probably make a quick exit.

3) Bust out a video camera

And when they say, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Nonchalantly say, “Don’t you remember me telling you this is all for a science experiment?” This could backfire, though, if you’ve picked up someone super kinky.

4) Let them catch you talking to a friend about how weird they are

Even if you don’t have a pre-planned phone call coming in, you can easily grab your phone while they’re in the bathroom and just as they’re walking out pretend to end a conversation with “yeah, I’ll call you once this freak leaves.” If they have any pride, they’ll leave immediately.

5) If they’ve somehow found their way into your room, give them a strip tease

And no, not a sexy one. Make a game for yourself where you try and undress in the least attractive way possible. Dance with no rhythm and talk in a creepy voice. By making yourself repulsive to them, they’ll have no choice but to leave for their own sanity.

img @ elle

You’ve been chatting with that girl in your Psych class since the beginning of the semester, getting to know each other, studying together, and generally being glad to have someone to bear the hours of mindless lecture with. But the semester is now coming to an end, and you’re wondering if maybe you should ask your classmate on a date, but aren’t sure if you’ve already been placed in the dreaded Friend Zone. Here are a few signs that your lady friend wants to be more than just friends; maybe even a potential booty call!

1. She starts dressing nicer/wearing more makeup around you

If she used to show up to class in sweatpants and sunglasses, but has started to look like maybe she’s putting a few extra minutes into her morning ready routine, it could be a sign that she’s looking to impress you. If there’s no one to impress, women are less likely to care what they look like.

2. She texts back right away

If a guy she’s not interested texts her, girls are more likely to let the text sit stagnant until she’s bored enough to respond. However, if your name pops up on her phone and she immediately texts you back, it’s a sign that she wants to initiate conversation with you. And if she always includes a question at the end, it could very well mean she wants to keep the conversation going.

3. She doesn’t ever talk about other guys around you

A woman who wants to make it apparent that she’s not interested in you will be very forward about the other guys she’s into. However, if she has a crush on you, she’s more likely to omit other guys from conversation, even if she’s seeing other people.

4. Her friends give you that look

Unlike men, women cannot keep their mouths shut about guys they are interested in. Even if they try to keep a lid on it, it’s just not built into them to keep secrets. So, you can bet that 9/10 of their friends know, and although they are sworn to secrecy, the second you touch her hair or laugh at her joke they will give you the world’s most obvious giggle-stare combos.

5. She makes excuses to hang out alone

It’s a common misconception that women only ever want to hang out alone. We like hanging out in groups just as much as guys, if only so we can move on to the next person when you get boring. However, if there is sexual tension going on between you that has not been worked out, she may use some tricks up her sleeve to get the two of you to hang out alone. It’s in your best interest to let it happen, or risk never knowing what could have happened between you and the hottie from Psych 101!

Read more at MadeMan

img @ flickr

In order to better serve you, our loyal BCU readers, we frequently check to see which search terms are bringing new readers to the site. They nearly always consist of “booty call,” “hot women,” and “onlinebootycall.” However, every once in a while comes a gem that makes the staff giggle like school girls. Here are a couple of our faves from 2010 so far.

1. “My mom wants a booty call”

How this search term was typed into a search engine baffles me. Was this a kind, understanding son or daughter who just wanted to see their mother happy? Or was it a frightened and grossed out adult wondering why their 80 year old mom was having gentlemen callers over at all hours? The possibilities are endless!

2. “Female body builders pissing”

I have… no words. Not only for the person who typed this string of words, but for the search engine that decided BCU was the place to direct these creeps.

3. “Looking for a booty call with a pregnant woman”

This one is interesting. While I’m quite sure I’ve read about the “pregnant woman” fetish, I always assumed it was like a husband/wife thing that ended once the baby was ejected forcefully out of the womb. Apparently, though,  you can actually seek this fetish extra-maritally and our blog is the place to do it.

4. “Naked basketball players”

Good to know that some ladies have been reading BCU, although I don’t imagine a 7 foot, gangly b-baller (Pau Gasol comes to mind) as my first choice for elaborate fantasies. [Sidenote: has anyone noticed he totally looks like Beaker from the Muppets?]

5. “How to hide beer on Spring Break”

So, we did a piece on hiding beer in your office, and we did a couple different articles on Spring Break, but we for sure never implied that we could train you how to hide beer on Spring Break. This brings to mind 16 year old high schoolers headed to Cancun. Disclaimer: we do not support underage drinking!