Now, I’m all for some kinkiness in the bedroom, and I can imagine that after many years together things tend to get stale and you might want to spice things up and try new things… reference my post about Mister Rex Ryan and his foot fetishing wife for proof that I have absolutely no problem with couples gettin’ a little crazy in the bedroom. However, I think we should go ahead and draw the line at bringing a LOADED GUN into bed and HOLDING IT AGAINST YOUR WIFE’S BRAIN. According to the Smoking Gun, Arthur Sedille, 23, of Oklahoma, called the police last Tuesday to report that he had “accidentally” shot his wife in the head. He said that the two “often engage in sexual fantasy involving a gun,” and that he didn’t realize the gun was loaded when he cocked it and held it to her head. His wife died on the scene from a single gunshot wound.

I should probably add that Arthur’s wife, Rebecca, is 50, which I mean HEY LOVE KNOWS NO BOUNDS or whatever, but kind of ew, and that Arthur is being held without bond in an Oklahoma County jail, and that I feel like maybe there was a secret unconscious desire behind PULLING A GUN ON YOUR OWN WIFE. I dunno. Maybe that’s just me.

5.  Somnophilia

If you ask me, this one is kind of boring. As long as the “morning wood” phenomenon exists, women will never be weirded out by what is called “sleepy sex,” or, trying to arouse a person while they are still sleeping. However, in the wrong situation, this might also be called “rape.”

4. Agalmatophilia

Although it has yet to be officially considered a fetish, Agalmatophilia is definitely real: having sexual feelings for dolls, robots, or mannequins. We’re banking on it happening this year, especially with the arrival of Roxxxy, the newest sex robot that can actually have conversations with you. Although I guess the appeal of the mannequins is that they keep their mouths shut, right?

3. E-Stim

Apparently, vibrators weren’t enough. E-Stim is the use of electric currents to stimulate parts of the body. I feel like this could potentially be hot, except that the machinery looks like it was dreamt up by Marty McFly back in 1985.

2. Emetophilia

Disgusting, offensive, and yet by all means viral, the 2 Girls 1 Cup video suddenly made us aware of Emetophilia, or the sexual fascination with vomit and vomiting. Apparently the action of puking on someone is called a Roman Shower, which sounds fancy and expensive, not repulsive and disgusting. But hey, I guess that’s exactly what a fetish should be.

1. Tentacle Porn

Exactly how it sounds.  Tentacle porn is a Japanese strain of pornography that involves octopi, squids, and tentacled aliens having sex with women. End of story.

Thanks Asylum, for making our sex lives sound totally boring and average!