OH YOU GUYS! Football! It IS still happening this year! HOORAYYYY! I had heard that there wasn’t going to be a season due to some, er… “budget disputes” (aka pointless arguments between a bunch of people who already make way too much money), but apparently everyone is going to angrily accept their 40 million dollars and play this season. Which is good because if there was no football, I’m pretty sure the collective American male rage would cause the...

I wonder what it’s like to wake up in Green Bay or Pittsburgh today. It’s Friday, and you’re going to work, and you have to behave like an adult, but also IT’S MFing SUPER BOWL WEEKEND, EVERYONE! I bet that’s how it is in offices all over those two cities. A bunch of decoy Excel sheets hiding tabs upon tabs of Super Bowl predictions and e-mail arguments about whose quarterback is going to rape who elses tight end. In San Diego, on the other hand,...

Some people work in oils, water colors, or granite. Those guys are big pu***s. The real artists of our age work in tiny Vienna Sausages and guacamole. That’s right, our Countdown to the Superbowl Day 5 post is an ode to the most masterful of football foods: the SNACK-ADIUM. There are many types of Snackadiums, all which masterfully deliver to each party-goer’s snack needs. Some need the spice, some want salty, and others want sweet (no thanks, I’m not 5 years...

  Green Bay Packers. Pittsburgh Steelers. Two teams from two cities that I neither know nor care ANYTHING about. Actually no – I think one of them likes cheese or something? Maybe? Either way, the Super Bowl is this weekend, and despite it having not one team that I am even vaguely interested in, we still have to make the most of it, by hosting your own BCU approved Super Bowl Party! But the rules for that one come later in the week…   Today we give you the top five...

Rashard Mendenhall pretends to have butt sex with Ben Roethlisberger in front of EVERYONE Following allegations that Ben Roethlisberger rapes people, it is surprising to me that something like this took so long to happen. Luckily, it went down on a day when half the nation was watching. I imagine that somewhere, Ben is sitting in his mansion, watching this video over and over and over again, rubbing his hands together and grinding his teeth and muttering to himself about how...

Remember earlier this week when I was saying this was going to be the best week ever? And remember how I said San Diego was going to hit the 70s this weekend? WELL GUESS WHAT IT ALREADY DID, ZING! Needless to say, we over on the southwesternmost point in the nation are very excited to no longer be living in a freezing death trap. Also, sorry to all of you who are still living in freezing death traps. This week, our to-do list of the weekend highlights one of the best parts of the...