This gender-role-reversal video is pretty accurate, we’d say, especially the awkward “Mother Hen” friend who always tries to get their friends to leave when they aren’t getting hit on. Now if only chicks were ballsy enough to really be like that after a hook up. Sigh… someday…

You know how much I love awkward news moments. This, this, and THIS, are just a few of the videos that make me giggle uncontrollably like a kid who just heard a fart in class. So when this vid hit the internet from our neighbors to the north, I couldn’t help but share it. I mean, it has all my favorite things:

Correspondents attempting “normal” banter? Check.
Weird sexual innuendo? Check.
Correspondent realizing mistake and then unraveling in a hilarious downward spiral or shame and laughter? CHECK CHECK CHECK!

To be fair, I would do the same thing if some douche in those shorts came up and started f***ing around with my breakfast. RUDE.

How was your weekend, everyone? Awesome? Did you hit the clubs? Meet a hot new booty call? Watch some football or basketball or soccer (haha, weirdo)? Well, whatever you did, stop thinking about it. IT’S OVER. STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.

Plus, you need to start working out, and I have JUST the plan for you:

SPEAKING OF NERDS,

Perfect for those days when you want to be fat, disgusting, AND lazy, ALL AT ONCE!

All I’m saying is, if by some strange accident I end up having a child, I hope he’s greeted into the world with a song like this! Accompanied by the sound of the heart monitor machine, this dad busts out a hit that rivals Jay-Z’s song glory. Well, maybe not quite.

Heart Murmur… Contraction… Have a baby!… Mirror.

Insta-classic!

… but this time, there’s a twist! Check out this video from America’s most, um, down home game show out there, Family Feud (if you aren’t an a**hole, “down home” means “dumb as rocks”. While wrong answers in Jeopardy are funny because the contestants are genius introverts with no real street smarts or social skills, Family Feud wrong answers are funny because, well, the contestants are usually pretty stupid.

However, in this case, that stupidity ended up being SPOT ON.

I think this video is supposed to show the terrifying attack of a wild animal on a defenseless bystander, and perhaps prod us to think about containing animals in enclosures and cages when they are clearly meant to run free in the wild. And maybe that our hubris as humans will be our demise when animals realize they are more powerful than us and wage a war against mankind to take back the world we have ruined for them.

But I just think it’s a hilarious video of a fat girl getting bit by a zebra because she couldn’t put down her food for one f***ing second.

No, sir, but you just made my morning!

Vince Schlomi, the Sham-wow-hocking-prostitute-punching infomercial dude is back with a new product you don’t need but will probably buy: The Schticky. According to Vince, it’s like a reusable lint roller that you can use on your dog? I think?

Needless to say, it wouldn’t be a Vince commercial without just a smidge of sexual innuendo, so let’s play a little Tuesday morning game, shall we? The first person to spot the totally creepster line in this commercial wins a chocolate bar (you only play shipping & handling, expect your free gift in 4 – 6 years.)