There was a distinct line at my elementary school between the kids who loved Sim City and the kids who loved Oregon Trail. I’ll be honest: I was a Sim City type of girl. Building towns and then watching them crumble at the hands of your hideously inept governing skills… it was AWESOME.

However, I am not one to deplore the merits of the only PC game that killed your grandma, so when this hilarious parody movie trailer hit the ol’ intarnetz, I had as hearty a laugh as anyone. Enjoy, and good luck with the dysentary.

I remember May 21st vividly. Opened my laptop, connected it to my monitor, double clicked on Chrome (Chrome FTW!) and BAM POOF ZING, there it was. Google Pac-Man. I managed to avoid procrastinating on BCU material for most of the morning, until I got sleepy and got a coffee and clicked home again.

This is when I lost control, and then all of a sudden it was 6 o’clock and I had officially spent ALL. FREAKING. DAY. playing Pac-Man, learning fun little secrets (hit “Insert Coin” twice and you can play two player! Eeeek!) and rubbing my eyes every 30 seconds because little blue ghosts were burned into my retinas.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one, because a recent report on BBC said Google Pac-Man ate up a ridiculous $120 million dollars in productivity, because while on most days people search about 22 times a day on Google, each for about 11 seconds, Pac-Man Day saw people spending an extra 36 seconds per search. Assuming the average office worker makes about $25 an hour, this added up to the ridiculous sum of $120 million dollars.

I imagine that for the average employee it went a little something like this.

“I wonder what the weather is going to be like for our business trip to Phoenix. Let me search this on Google. Oh, haha, Google… celebrating the birthday of Pac-Ma- WAIT. WHAT THE F-. YOU CAN PLAY?!!! Insert Coin… Omgomgomg. No one is around… I’ll just play one game.”

3 hours later…

Thanks Google. I blame you for corporate America’s loss of revenue that day. It’s all you and those little yellow drug addicts’ fault.

Read more at BBC

Welcome, readers, to your weekly dose of a female staffer pretending she knows anything about sports or physical activity of any kind! In this weeks episode: FOOTBALL! The sport I could have sworn ended like, a month ago is apparently back in full swing, with something called a “draft,” which I thought was a handwritten essay from 10th grade.

The hilarious writers over at The Asylum have come up with a drinking game to commemorate the new draft broadcast system. The draft starts airing tonight at 7:30 PM on the only channel men care about: ESPN.

Here are the rules for the NFL Draft Drinking Game:

Drink once:

1. each time Mel Kiper Jr. says one of his trademark phrases: “value pick,” “need pick,” “best available” and “that’s a reach.”
2. every time Kiper’s hair is referenced by another ESPN analyst.
3. every time an ESPN personality compliments a player’s suit.
4. each time one of the following is mentioned: Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, Matt Millen, Akili Smith, Ki-Jana Carter, Brian Bosworth, Tim Couch.
5. each time an analyst uses one of the following buzzwords or phrases to describe a player: “he’s raw”,”intangibles”,”body control”,”physical tackler”,”battle-tested”,”proven winner”,”arm length”,”gets stuck on blocks”,”release point”,”game speed”, or “low center of gravity”
6. every time Kiper and Todd McShay interrupt one another (this could get dangerous).

Find out the rest of the rules over at The Asylum!

Do you have adult onset ADHD? Does sitting for extended periods of time make you nervous and uncomfortable, even if football is on TV? Never fear, because the fine folks over at HolyTaco have created a Bingo card drinking game for the Super Bowl that will keep you entertained (and possibly belligerent) for the entire 4 quarters.  Print, and enjoy!