If someone came along and handed me 15 grand, and said, “do whatever you want with this money, no one will ever know,” I’d like to say that I’d put half into a savings account and like, I dunno, make a down payment on a house with the other half? Who knows. Maybe I’d go on a shopping spree with part of it, or buy a car. Who knows, really. What I do know, though, is that on a list of the top 1,000,000 things I would do with 15,000 dollars, “purchase a ceramic bowl that John Lennon used to crap in” would probably fall somewhere in the 500,000s, right between “invest in VHS technology” and “buy a manatee.” Because really, REALLY, what are you gonna do with a dead person’s toilet? When people come over and see the crapper just chillin’ in your living room, do you say, “oh, yeah, that. No big deal, just the place where a former rock legend deposited his stools,” and then continue to talk about politics?

Well, according to Reuters, someone had an idea of what to do with it, because at a Beatles themed auction in Liverpool, England, an unnamed buyer bid over ten times the asking price of the blue and white porcelain toilet. According to the source, they think the item is going “overseas somewhere.” So next time you go to some eccentric, Beatles loving millionaire’s house, check out that ceramic fish bowl in the corner… it might be the place where “Strawberry Fields Forever” was composed. But probably not.

When you think about things you should do before you ask for a raise, the first thing you might think would be work hard, be productive, take suggestions and criticism with grace, and put that “little extra in extraordinary.” When Summer’s Eve, creator of the most outdated form of feminine hygiene products still available on the market, thinks of the steps you should take before asking for a raise, they’d say to spray a vinegar and water solution up into your cooter, because your job performance and the cleanliness of your vagina are very strongly correlated. Or something.

Want someone’s blood-stained futon?

Seriously in need of a VHS copy of Cruel Intentions?

Have an intense desire an Inception themed rim job?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, head on down to the Manhattan, New York Craigslist page. Browse the misspelled ads and try and steer clear of the prostitution stings and you’ll find each of these things. Especially the last one. (Click below to see the ad in all its frightening glory)

In “America is a country of fatties” news, Carl’s Jr. Has come up with a medical phenomenon: a heart-attack inducing sandwich! It’s called the Footlong Cheeseburger, and the name says it all: it’s essentially a 12 inch sub sandwich except subtract the good for you turkey or chicken and add group up beef and cheddar and ketchup and mayo.

I suppose this is a good thing — if you’re really trying to off yourself and want an easy (and probably delicious!) way out, cram one of these into your gullet every day for a week and I’m sure you’ll be on the road to Cardia-Arrestville! Bon voyage!

It’s become an extremely popular internet meme to state “CANNOT UNSEE” after a particularly disturbing picture or mind-blowing image (did you know the Sony VAIO logo looks like the symbols for analog and digital? Crazy!)

The “Cannot Unsee” meme, though, like so many others that came before it, is getting thrown around with increasing frivolity, at silly things like a dude with huge man-boobs or a dog that looks like a teddy bear.

This video, though, THIS VIDEO, embodies and symbolizes all that is the CANNOT UNSEE entity. In a short minute, this 60 year old man will hip thrust his way into your nightmares for all eternity.

Enjoy.