Sorry, readers. I got your hopes, dreams, and probably a certain tangible body part up when I promised you a post featuring the hottest South African Exports yesterday, and then I failed to deliver. You have every right to flog me via angry comment.

I’d like to say that I burned my fingertips off on a fireball, or that my hands were shattered by a speeding bullet train, but the truth is I just plum forgot. With all the excitement around Woody’s goal kick and Sexomnia and the disparity I feel at the thought of another ruined Lucasfilm franchise — the hot girl post fell to the wayside.

So with my deepest, humbles, apologies, I bring you, the top 5 hottest South African Exports.

5) Tatum Keshwar Miss South Africa 2008

4) Dominique Piek – Swimsuit model

3) Candice Boucher — Playboy’s Miss April 2010

2) Candice Swanepoel —  Victoria’s Secret model

1) Charlize Theron — Actress

There you have it. The hottest ladies to come out of South Africa — host of the 2K10 World Cup, that starts… (eeeeeee!!!!) TOMORROWWWWW!

All photos from BroBible

The beanbag chair has a terrible reputation, considering you usually only find them in peoples’ basements or college dorm rooms or your loser cousin’s living room next to his “end table” that’s actually the box his microwave came in.

However, a visit to Asylum informed us that a new line of bean bags has arrived that may bring the bean bag back to its 1970s height of popularity, and they are called Booty Beanbags. Visiting the site, you’ll notice they use hot chicks as their models and suggestive quips like, “Expecting company? Check out the Chofa for three.” Because I’m sure you, like me, have always wanted to have a threesome on an unwieldy hacky sack that sinks in the middle.

If you’re like we were and are a little suspicious of whether or not a bean bag could get you laid, head on over to the Booty Babes section of the website. These leggy models are seemingly proof that the Booty Beanbag could your must-buy furniture piece of the season.

Go shopping for these Booty Beanbags at their store

Did you know that up until the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition hits the stands, none of the models know who is gonna be on the cover? I imagine them all (still in bathing suits, obviously) sleeping on the sidewalk next to the 4th and F newstand, waiting for the truck to drop off the magazines, after which a fight breaks out and for some unfortunate reason they end up naked. Is this how you picture it?

Needless to say, this years mag is out, and the lucky cover girl is the insatiably sexy Brooklyn Decker, a blonde bombshell who looks completely stunning in the cover photo. She will definitely have a place on our next tribute to hand bras.

Despite the fact that underwear companies have been pumping out bras since the 1800s, the classic “hot chick” photoshoot in many men’s magazines these days feature women using completely inconvenient items to shield their breasts, from the crossed arm move, to a strategically placed pillow. Our favorite at BCU, though, is definitely the hand bra. Seductive without revealing everything, the hand bra deserves an award. With the help of Maxim, we’ve compiled a few of our favorite hand bras from over the years.

1. Carmen Electra

We forgive Carmen for that terrible reality show she made with her then husband Dave Navarro, and we even forgive her for ever dating Dennis Rodman. Let’s be honest, we’d forgive her for just about anything if she lived her life wearing only a hand bra.

2. Jennifer Scholle

Who is this girl? Does anyone know? I think shes famous for being someone’s girlfriend? Or wife maybe? We really couldn’t care less because this is quite possibly the hottest picture in the history of the world: it’s a double whammy of hand bra and side boob, with the added bonus of a butt shot. Whoever photographed this- we salute you.

3. Bobbie Sue Luthor

The host of the über nerdy Junkyard Wars shows that there’s more to her than announcing whether the Catapult Carnage  beat Jet Grenade. Despite working alongside acne-ridden mechanical geeks, she’s retained a flawless body, exemplified by this high-quality hand bra photo.

4. Sofia Vergara

You might of noticed we’ve been talking a lot about the Colombian bombshell from ABC’s Modern Family. It might be because we love that show, or it might be because this woman has got a rack that acts like a homing device to all males in the world.

5. Joana Krupa

One of the artsier photos in the bunch, the dark background and rainfall do not detract from the epic example of hand bra sexiness that this Dancing with the Stars hottie’s got going on. Very impressive.

We’ve all seen those cheesy motivational posters: there is a drop of water hitting a lake and it says something cliche like, “There is no I in team.”  However, these new sexy motivational posters, all located at the CHIVE, are much more our style. Featuring foxy ladies like Sofia Vergara (above), we can’t help but be extremely motivated!