The first question asked if singles were looking to find love, and we were happy to see that for the most part, people aren’t actively searching out a relationship, but instead are waiting to see if one finds them. We have found that being open to meeting new people but not being constantly on the hunt for a boyfriend or girlfriend is the best way to find a relationship. I mean, just check out our nearly 30 weeks of testiMOANials – they show the exact same thing!

This next poll question, as you can see, is one of our favorites… it shows that online daters are opening up to the idea that sexual freedom isn’t something to be ashamed of! With a whopping 58% of singles saying that they’ve had a one-night stand, we’re excited to see that people are having fun, hooking up (and being safe about it, we hope), and letting relationships and marriages come when and if they do.

And now – the gold mine. According to the study (of over 5,000 singles), marriage isn’t the first thing on singles minds anymore! While in the past, being an online dating site member meant that you were looking for a marriage right away. Now though, it seems singles aren’t sure that marriage is ever necessary. At only 34% of the total population, it appears that people actively seeking marriage are actually in the minority, compared to the group of people who aren’t sure and those who are POSITIVE they aren’t looking for wedding bells!

This may just be one survey, but with such a big population (from such a mainstream site, no less!), it puts a smile on our face to see that so many singles are realizing what we’ve known for years: marriage is slowly becoming obsolete, and finding love doesn’t mean searching endlessly for “The One,” you can just have fun, date, and hook up, and love with find you!

“I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life here, wonders never cease to amaze! Keep the faith people.” Female, 48, San Bernadino, CA

“Booty call turned into friends with benefits and that turned into EXCLUSIVE….all in one night. We clicked and that’s IT!”Female, 25, Fenton, MO

“Strange place to find love… After 4 years of calling each other for kinks, we are making it exclusive and official!!!!” Female, 44, Boulder, Colorado

via modernmom

I don’t know if it’s the warmer weather (it’s 90 degrees in San Diego), the celebration of Osama’s death getting people riled up (gross), or the Royal Wedding, but people have been talkin’ sex this week. Not only are Australian dudes having “too much” sex, but fat people are “unsatisfied,” and now single parents might be more DTF!?

According to Jezebel, that is the case – based on a Match.com survey,

21% of single parents are currently dating someone versus 16% of singles without kids; 35% of single parents have been on a first date in the past year versus 27% of singles without kids.

Of course, as the author points out, we can’t be sure exactly of what “dating” means. It could mean anything from “have been on one date” to “are in an exclusive relationship,” although that’s probably not the case considering they’re still on Match.com.

So comes the all-important question – would you date a single mom or dad? Considering that question is often prominently featured in online dating questionnaires, it must be an important topic for people. Before you consider a relationship with a single parent, though, you should probably consider a couple factors:

1.What type of relationship you are looking for

There is a reason there is MILF porn. A lot of guys think the idea of having a booty call or Friends With Benefits relationship with a more experienced woman would be awesome. However, many single mothers who are in the dating scene aren’t looking for a casual relationship. Be sure to get your intentions on the table early.

2. Whether or not they have sole custody

Even if you are both looking for just a hook up relationship, you should take into account whether or not your dates kid will be around every time you see each other. If that’s the case, you might want to reconsider the complications that you might cause between someone and their child if you are around a lot but don’t want to have a relationship with them.

3. How their relationship is with their kid

You can tell a lot about a person based on their relationship with their child. Are they close? Do they make an effort to see their kid often? And if not, are they providing financially and/or taking the time to build a relationship with them? Of course there are always exceptions, where the other parent makes things difficult or the child lives far away, but you might not want to get caught up with someone who is a deadbeat mom or dad.

4. PROTECTION

Remember, the reason someone is a single parent is because the relationship that conceived the child wasn’t meant to be. And although the kid is probably loved and taken care of, you need to make sure you think of yourself first! Always have protection and USE IT. We’re all grown ups here, it’s not a sixth grade awkward sex ed class anymore. Just DO IT!

What do you think? Would you date and/or hook up with a single parent? Or are people with kids off limits?

So, you fixed up your headline, adjusted your photos, gave your profile a makeover and mastered the first message. Now of course, it’s time to actually meet up! Because this is a casual dating site (and because we are normal human beings who don’t live in Disney princess movies), we know there is no such thing as love at first sight. We also know that first dates are notoriously awkward. AND we know that for the most part, the first date is just getting you closer to the last, so it shouldn’t be THAT big of a deal. Luckily, we have some experience in the field and therefore would love to help you with those first date jitters.

Here is BCU’s How To: Avoid First Date Awkwardness.

1. Don’t over-plan it

The last thing you’ll want to do is treat the first date like some sort of over-zealous attempt at making yourself look good. If you try and plan a romantic dinner in the park followed by a scavenger hunt followed by drinks on a rooftop, most likely two of those things will bomb. Sprinklers will go off in the park, your scavenger hunt will be a failure, or the rooftop bar will be closed. Or all three. Plan one thing, like the drinks at a place with a nice view, and then call it a night, orrr take the fun back to your place. If you know what I mean. ;)

2. Don’t try and go at it alone

If you are prone to nervousness on dates, there is no problem in having your date meet up with you with a group of their friends while you’re with your friends. Not only will it feel less awkward to have your friends around, but you’ll be able fill gaps in conversations by introducing your date to your friends. Two tips: DO NOT be so nervous that you ignore your date all night, and do NOT forget to tell your friends that if they say anything awkward about you, you’ll sell their organs on the black market.

3. Go somewhere with entertainment

Check out your local bars and restaurants that have live music or a DJ spinning. That way, when those tense silences come up (they will, no matter how compatible you are), you can always say, “boy this band is great!” or “my god this DJ sounds like a drunk 4 year old.”

4. Have a pre-date drink

Sitting around your apartment, tapping your foot and sweating through your top isn’t going to make the start of the date any easier. Call up a friend and ask them to meet you for a drink a few minutes before you are to meet your date. Note that I said “a” drink and not seven drinks. showing up to your date drunk is a big slice of no-no cake. But one glass of wine to loosen up your muscles and nerves is never a bad idea.

5. Don’t over-think it

This is the most important advice in this entire post. Whether you are meeting someone from OBC that you don’t really plan on starting a relationship with, or someone with whom you could see a long-term thing happening with (yuck), making the experience more tense than necessary is POINTLESS. Just have fun with it, and let us know how it goes!

Do you have a dating question that needs advice? Let us know in the comments!

img via cupidotips

Last week we talked about cleaning up your dating headline, turning it from a repulsive beast into a stunningly attractive belle of the ball. This week in BCU How Tos, we thought it a good idea to discuss the REST of your profile. Whether you’re on OBC looking for a hot night out with a fun singleton, or on some other site looking for long term (barf, vom, ick), we’re here to give you the run down on the awesome “yes, please!”s and the terrible “no, thank you”s of profiles. Let’s begin.

YES, PLEASE: Be positive!

Not unlike your dating profile headline, the body of your profile should be a list of the great things about you, and the great things you’re looking for in a date. You should be able to say “YES PLEASE” to each and every standard that you have… for example, it should say, “loves honest, straight-forward people with a great attitude” (YES, PLEASE!), instead of “hates lying, shady a**holes who are big d-bags” (…yes, uh… please?) See? It doesn’t quite work. Peoples’ moods tend to reflect off whatever they are reading, and you don’t want people to leave your profile with a bad taste in their mouth.

NO, THANK YOU: Copy-and-pasted rubbish

Let’s be honest here. Walking on the beach isn’t fun. It’s boring. Candlelit dinners? Stuffy and pretentious. Laughing with friends? NO SH*T, SHERLOCK. WHO DOESN’T LIKE LAUGHING WITH FRIENDS. If your profile looks like it could have come out of a how-to course from the 1990s, it needs personalization and revamping. A good rule of thumb is to think of a hobby or skill you have that is rare or interesting. Do you know how to rock climb? Can you write a song about someone in 15 minutes? Do you make a mean lasagna? Things like that are quirky, interesting facts about a person that set them apart from the crowd.

YES, PLEASE: Thorough but to-the-point

Before you send a message to someone, you’d like to know at least somewhat what you’re getting into, right? You aren’t going to blindly send a message to a person just based on their existence on the site, are you? So why would anyone message you without some sort of revealing information? You don’t need to talk about your ex-husband or your high-blood pressure or anything like that, of course, but giving a few clues as to your likes and dislikes and personality is a good way to paint a mini-portrait of yourself. On the other hand, a wall of text about each and every hobby you’ve picked up over the span of your life and your schedule for the next two weeks is not only unnecessary, but will most-likely remain unread.

NO, THANK YOU: Dirty, dirty

Even if you’re on OBC or another casual dating site, there is no reason to flood your profile with raunchy text. Save it for the bedroom, Romeo. Yes, I specified guys here because for some reasons it is usually dudes who think that women want to know “wat I wud do 2 ur p****.” Newsflash: we don’t. Like I said, even on a site like OBC, where casual dating and hooking up is promoted, women are not turned on by your gratuitous porn-speak. Stick to terms like “have a good time,” and “see where the night takes us” because while they imply a sexual adventure might happen, they don’t sound like they’re coming from a potential rapist.

Following our simple tips, you should end up with a good-lookin’, attractive profile that will catch peoples’ eyes as they’re perusing through the bloody battle ground that is most dating profiles. Combine that with a great profile photo (see our how to for that), and you’ll get a hot date in no time.

Do you have any tips for dating profiles? Leave em in the comments!

img via sheknows

To be honest, I’ve always thought that dating site “headlines” were a little silly. It’s less words than a Twitter update and supposed to give the singles on the site a real idea of your entire personality… how is that fair? Still, though, we rarely see even a halfway decent headline on most dating sites, and many are just straight-up disasters.

So how do YOU make your dating headline stand out from the crowd? Or at least not be the over-weight kid in Crocs of the crowd? Here are BCU’s tips to making a better dating site headline.

1. Actually have a headline

I can’t tell you how many headlines we’ve seen that are either blank, say, “Um…” or say “Never done this before.” That is almost certainly a one-way ticket to IGNORESville. No one wants to go on a date with someone who can’t even stand to be the least bit creative for ten seconds. Whether its a high school essay or your dating site headline, you get points just for writing SOMETHING.

2. USE. SPELL. CHECK.

Interesting fact about 2011: we have this incredible feature called “spell-check.” If your browser doesn’t have it automatically built in, there is also Dictionary.com and the omnipotent Google.com which you can type words into and instantly find out if they are spelled correctly. Also, in case you were wondering, “misspellings” includes but is not limited to: the wrong forms of their, there & they’re, to, too, & two, your and you’re; abbreviations using numbers (b4, 2nite, etc), and using Zs in place of Ss (see the above photo). Oh also, there is a button to your left that says “Caps Lock.” Make sure that’s not on.

3. Don’t use movie quotes

You might think that one Anchorman quote is just the funniest thing you’ve ever read and that it just totally exemplifies your outlook on life, but really all it says is “I can’t think for myself.” Famous person quotes, like politicians or revolutionaries, are somewhat acceptable, but only if you can carry a conversation for more than five minutes about said public figure. If your quote is “an eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind” but all you can say about Ghandi is that he was “super skinny,” you should probably pick a different quote.

4. Be positive

No one likes Debbie Downer. If you have baggage (and hey, don’t we all) leave it for the 6th date or 4 months in or if you’re just looking for a booty call, don’t bring it up at all. Whatever you do, though, do NOT bring it up in the first 12 words of meeting someone, which is basically what your headline is. While you may think saying “NOT LOOKING FOR PLAYERS OR LIARS, WANT AN HONEST PERSON” might just be straightforward and selective, it looks desperate and crazy and negative and snooty and a million other unappealing adjectives. Oh, and also, let’s be honest here. Do you really think “players and liars” are going to read that and be like, “well good gentlelady, in that case I shall kindly escort myself back to the Players and Liars section over yonder”? Doubtful. They’ll most likely just see it as a challenge.

5. Say your headline out loud, a couple times. And think, “is this ME?”

Many of the problems we see day to day in peoples’ dating profiles, are when they try and write things that make them sound interesting or attractive, but that in real life they would never say. Remember, the goal of online dating is to eventually meet in person. If you planned on having the shield of internet anonymity forever, you’d just hang out in AOL chat rooms, right? So, while “Looking for a lifetime lover to read Thoreau with” might attract some women, if you haven’t read since first grade and just want a one time booty call, you proooobably should rethink that one. Always, always make sure that your headline sounds like something that would come out of your mouth before you hit “Save”.

That’s about it. Improving your dating profile can be as easy as giving a little Spring Cleaning to your headline. Remember, along with your photo, your headline is your first impression. Even if you had all the qualitifications for a job, you wouldn’t show up to the interview in pajamas, would you? No. So dress up that headline in some slacks and a tie and start your job hunt. And check back next week for BCU’s How To: Fix Your “About Me”.

Credit: Reuters/Yuriko Nakao

It is interesting to me, that at the ripe old age of twenty-something-something (don’tworryaboutit), men my age seem to still be mentally incapable of finding a solid middle ground in the world of flirting. Some go the awkward no eye contact half-smile “hello,” and others tend towards borderline-sexual assault in public.

EITHER WAY, this absolute inability to flirt properly often carries over to the internet as well, where messages range from a “hi,” to “HEY SWEET BABBY U R SO SEXXZY WE SHUD GET TO NO EACHOTHER.” Luckily, online flirting site Badoo did a some research to figure out the best way to flirt with any woman from any part of the world online, and more specifically, what to compliment. According to their results, complimenting a woman’s lips has the best overall success rate when it comes to responses and further conversation. Depending on the country, various other traits came in close seconds, including hair, skin, legs and ears (um what), but as a whole, lips came in a numero uno on the “likely to get laid” list.

According to Jo Hemmings, a British behavioral psychologist, this compliment is so successful because it is direct, specific, and bold, and personal. “What many women want is for men to take the initiative and not be wishy-washy,” Hemmings said. “A lot of men on dating sites send a sort of generic message and women recognize something that hasn’t been customized for them.”

If only men could take this sentiment and use in the real world too. Like, “hey, your eyes look amazing against the blue of that sweater,” instead of “your pants would look really good against the mauve of my carpet.” Just an idea, guys.

Twitter is ablaze today with news that someone unearthed an interesting new aspect of Wikileaks’ founder Julian Assange’s past life. The Australian, who is currently in prison with no chance of bail for “sexual assault” (air quoting real hard over here) apparently had an online dating adventure about three to four years back on the popular dating site OKCupid. Photos, profile quotes, and quiz results are showing up all over the interwebz, and judging by some of what we saw, Mr. Assange REALLY should have joined OBC instead (in fact most of the headlines are “Assange’s online booty call” which we totally take offense to because it’s not an online booty call unless you get it from the OG OBC, OBVIOUSLY).

Our favorite quote from the controversial figure’s profile? “Passionate, and often pig headed activist intellectual seeks siren for love affair, children and occasional criminal conspiracy.”

I had to look up pig-headed because what? Apparently it means stubborn, contrary, perverse, and obstinate, so he’s a stubborn, smart, passionate dude looking for a fling, which is totally awesome and fitting with the OBC doctrine minus the children part ’cause YIKES. As you can see from the photo above, Assange isn’t a bad-looking guy, but we take offense to the photos below because a) you’re not about to rob a 7-11, and b) you’re not a twelve year old girl on MySpace.

Needless to say, with a few new photos (and probably a new haircut, Doc Brown), we think Mr. Assange would make a great addition to the OnlineBootyCall dating realm. He pushes the limits and isn’t afraid to break a few rules and sounds like he’s up for an risque OBC adventure. Now if only we could find a way to break him out of Wandsworth pris

BREAKING NEWS: BCU GIRL WAS JUST ARRESTED FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE STATE AND ALSO DOG FIGHTING AND ALSO… STEALING. YEP. STEALING. NO BAIL.

TheUglyBugBall.com* is a dating site for people who wake up every day, look in the mirror, and recoil in horror, but still think that they deserve love as much as anyone else. Which… I guess… is a good trait?

The British site, created to help the “aesthetically challenged” find love, has just excitedly reported the first engagement in their site’s history: a couple named Tom and Janine, who after four (most likely creepy) dates, have decided to tie the loose, ill-fitting and frayed knot. Despite Tom having a “face that makes children cry” (QUOTE), he’s found his soulmate, and for that, we say congratulations.

And yet, we don’t know how to feel about this. Happy, because people found love despite being dealt a hand of low-scoring cards? Sad, for the moment that they realized that an “ugly” dating site was the only place they were going to get a date? Or just curious, as to just how ugly the people are on this site?

Spoiler alert: it’s all three.

[*Also, is it a coincidence that the acronym for the site is "TUBB"? Or just a really mean-spirited jab at the members?]

I guess, if anything you have to appreciate the audacity and honesty of the hero in our next story.

Apparently bars and dating sites just weren’t cutting it for The Phone Book bachelor, because he ventured where no man has ever gone (or wanted to go) before: the disease-covered glass wall of a New York City phone booth. According to the NY Post, Malik Turner, sorter/bagger for UPS, has been on the prowl for a lady that fits his extremely precise standards for some time, to no avail (strange, I was sure every woman in Manhattan was a red headed Hispanic nympho who loved hockey, rollerblading, video games and foursomes. I mean if you can’t even fulfill those basic requirements how would you ever meet a guy, AMIRITE, LADIES?

Needless to say, someone from the Post found this gem and shared it with the world so men everywhere could know the specifications of the perfect woman for future reference. NO SHEMALES OR HOOKERS!