Jamie Bell, a British actor best known for his role as a male ballerina in the movie Billy Elliot, is about to star in a remake of the movie Tintin directed by Steven Spielberg. In an interview with GQ, however, the most interesting detail was his very accurate answer to the question”What’s the best way to impress a woman?”

Buy her flowers? Take her home on the weekend to meet your mother? No. Let’s cut to the primal – be good in the sack. [Slaps thighs] Have an understanding of what’s going on down there and have fun, awesome sex.

Um, yes? Perfect, flawless answer? But wait, it gets better. When the interviewer asked what skill every man should have, Bell continued his string of 100% correct answers:

Skill? You know what I’m going to say. A man should have a good understanding of a vagina. He should be good at oral sex. On a woman.

WHO IS THIS ANGEL FROM THE HEAVENS, AND WHY HAVE WE NEVER PAID HIM MORE ATTENTION? Some news outlets are claiming that Bell’s answers are “heterosexist,” because they imply that men are only supposed to be with women. But as a female who is also heterosexual, I have to politely disagree and say that he scored 102/100 in this interview. The extra two points are for the cute-boy-morphed-into-a-handsome-man photo. A+.

Story and image via GQ

When I first saw this article, I thought to myself, don’t post this article, you dummy. The whole point of this blog is to get men and women to loosen up a bit… about life, love, weird sh*t, and of course sex! Posting this is going to make the ladies crawl back into their prudish caves and never come out!

Unfortunately, the journalist side of me said NAY, I MUST REPORT THE NEWS.

According to US researchers, oral sex may actually be giving people cancer. They claim that cases of oral cancer caused by the sexually transmitted disease HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) have “increased significantly” in the last 20 years, and it may be because people are going down on each other more. Via Gawker:

Researchers tested tumor samples from 271 patients with certain types of throat cancer diagnosed from 1984 to 2004. The virus was found in only 16 percent of the samples from the 1980s—but in 72 percent of those collected after 2000.

The researchers estimated that over all, throat cancers caused by the virus have increased to 2.6 per 100,000 people in 2004 from 0.8 cases per 100,000 people in 1988. If the trend continues, by 2020 the virus will be causing more throat cancer than cervical cancer, the study concluded.

Greeeeaat. Just lovely. Now on top of worrying about condoms and unplanned pregnancies and awkwardly tip-toeing out of a booty call’s house in the morning, we have to worry about if the naughty bits going in our mouths MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL US.

Furthermore, the disease does not have a screening process, so you won’t find out you have oral cancer at your next STD test (which you have frequently, because you are responsible, right? Right.). Instead, researchers claim you should get vaccinated for HPV and also see a doctor if you notice a “lumpy, swollen lymph node” or “lingering sore throat or earache.”

Keep calm and carry on folks, and be careful whose junk you let near your face.

Sometimes you have to leave it to college newspapers to ask the important, hard-hitting questions. Without funding from potentially biased sources, they can get down on the real issues at hand, like if politicians are actually working in our best interest, or if corporations are secretly stealing of millions of dollars from the American public.

Or if swallowing semen is vegan or not. You know, the significant, polarizing issues.

QUICK. SOMEONE DO RESEARCH. Find a vegan booty call and get the TRUTH.

Boy oh  boy, today sure is a sexy day, isn’t it? First we have one of my favorite childhood past-times getting the Hustler treatment, and now we have this politely seductive gentleman named John Westwood in New York City. Apparently, the 45 year old man (who wants you to know he is five foot, nine inches tall, which probably means he’s 5’6) has been slipping his “business card” in magazines around the city, with a simple plea: he wants to give you ladies some “powerful orgasms” by satisfying your “carnal lust.”

This comes just weeks after we learned about the Phone Booth Bachelor, with his hilariously specific dating standards posted all over Manhattan, so thanks to these two dudes, we’re now pretty sure that NYC is a city full of woefully inexperienced guys who have, somehow, a much higher opinion of themselves than is even remotely appropriate. Without further ado, let’s meet John Westwood.

(And ladies, please don’t panic. Everyone will get a turn.)

[source]

Remember that post yesterday about how women are leading “Sexually Disadvantaged Men” like stray sheep into believing they aren’t terrible* in bed? Well, apparently I did not read the report thoroughly enough, or I’d have had GREAT news instead of having to tell you AWFUL news.

According to the report, “compared to the figures from the 1994 survey, it was discovered that more men and women are engaging in oral sex with each other, and a “significantly greater” amount of heterosexual anal sex is going on in 2010.”

On TOP of that, the study showed that people are having sex in 41 different ways! Apparently my Kama Sutra post is inspiring the masses!

Good work, everyone!

* – Just kidding, sort of.

colors added to make a point.

And now, after months of waiting, London has finally released the first shots of the 2012 Olympic mascots, and they are, I’m not kidding, One Eyed Monsters. Not only do they share a nickname with a certain phallic body part, but they also have a shape strikingly reminiscent of said phallic body part. Are you lost? Let me help you out. The mascots LOOK LIKE PENISES.

look at them. they look like penises. creepy, floating penises.

So here’s what it comes down to. Either the design committee for London 2012 Olympics  has a hilarious, if somewhat juvenile sense of humor, or the  design committee for London 2012 Olympics never went to a public school in their life. These are literally our only two options.

So what do you think? Immature or oblivious?

img @ theinsanityreport

Gentlemen, did your lady force you to take her out for a lavish dinner on Valentine’s Day? Did she demand roses, chocolates, and wine, followed by hours and hours of “making love”? If this is the case, you should be thanking me right now, because I have recently discovered that this Sunday, March 14, is Steak and a BJ Day.

Can it be? you ask? Do I really get retribution for the hellacious experience that has been February 14th for my entire life? you ask?

The answer is yes, and I provide you this page to print and display as proof when your lady-friend unavoidably says, “THAT DOESN’T EXIST.”

Put on a nice shirt and scrub your junk, boys, because this day comes around only once a year.

Ladies- take heed. Hillary Duff, Disney starlet and classic girl-next-door, is giving lessons on the appropriate way to handle a proposal. Her hockey player boyfriend, Mike Comrie, recently proposed to her on the rooftop of a condo in Florida with a $1 million dollar engagement ring. The next steps she took should be written in a public journal somewhere for all fiancees to read: she did a mini freak out, then took a photo to send to her friends and family, and promptly proceeded to perform what could only be construed as a phenomenal, life changing blow job.

Congrats to the happy couple- especially you, Mr. Comrie. You got yourself a keeper.

Photos courtesy of BroBible

Dating bloggers over at OKCupid recently did some studies which show that although men seek out younger women on the internet, older women are more open in bed and enjoy sex more. The graph below shows the answers from women on the site about whether or not sex is one of their favorite activities. As you can see, 75% of the 39 year olds said yes, while a mere 25% of 18 year olds said yes.

The evidence goes on to show that older women enjoy giving oral sex, are open to a threesome, and would prefer to have sex once a day rather than once a week.

Alright, men, looks like it’s time to get sign up for the Cougar Cruise!