This sign is clearly from the 1980s, and here is how I can tell:

1)“Use”? People don’t use internet porn. Porn doesn’t walk away after you’ve fapped to it and feel dirty and taken advantage of. Porn is using you, if anything. You watch porn. Enjoy porn. Maybe you even experience porn if you’re one of the lucky few who have a 3D television set. Use porn? No way.

2) The creator of this sign was surely unaware of internet porn. Everyone finds their fetish on the internet, and I bet his is some sort of Village People themed orgy. Rule 34, right?

3) Charles Mann is almost 50 years old and is probably no longer a defensive end. The only reason Brett Favre could do it is because he sold his soul back in 1992 for a 2-decade long contract with the NFL because he knew that in 2012 the world was going to end anyway. In fact, I would not be surprised if the end of time came in B. Favre’s last season when his bones finally turn to dust and he becomes a black hole, sucking the stadium and the rest of the universe in with him.

4) Captain John Testrake is dead. RIP, heroic pilot.

5) Oh, also James Irwin is dead. RIP, astronaut-moon-walking dude.

As the unfortunate recipient of a mal-ware virus this weekend which turned my otherwise innocent laptop into a hub of every porn site known to man, including the oddly named, “porno.org,” which implies that there in a non-profit organization that wants to help you find “hot young gay sex”. Needless to say, I came to wonder, how much porn is REALLY on the internet, and a quick Google search got me to an article at  Asylum that solved the mystery.

Almost 40% of the internet is porn. As in, not just a quarter but not quite a half, but about 40%. To put that in perspective, that Armani sweater you’ve been wanting so badly but refuse to buy because it’s $400, would be down to an almost reasonable 240 bucks. It’s no wonder that searching for “brownie recipe” is actually a NSFW decision.

The report by Asylum claims the rest of the internet is devoted to shopping (9 percent), travel (5.7), computing (4.2) and sports (4.2).

Oddly enough, we’re sure most of those have ties to the porn world too. Anyone up for a little vacation “down under”?

We at BCU appreciate just about everything in graph form. Our short attention spans and kitten-like excitability make colorful lines and bars far more engrossing than boring old words and numbers. So when we found this colorful line graph about porn, we were like, BONUS POINTS!

img @ BuzzFeed

Whatever, you might think, all men look at porn! Why should a man not be allowed to look at porn just because he happens to have a job in the congress, right? Oh, but you forgot one teeny tiny detail…

HE WAS LOOKING AT IT DURING A DEBATE.

More specifically, a debate concerning women’s abortion rights. That’s right, Senator Mike Bennett, of Florida, was staring at a picture of some ta-tas right in the middle of a congressional debate about women’s rights.

When confronted about the photo, Bennett said, “”I was just sitting there, bored as they were debating the abortion bill,” (nice, Bennett, nice) “I didn’t know it was in there. As soon as I realized what it was, I shut it,” Bennett said. “I don’t know how many girls there were, what they looked like or what they were wearing.”

Sure, dude.

When you think of television shows that you really wish were made into a porn parody, what comes to mind? Friends? Entourage? True Blood? Obviously not, because those might actually be sexy and entertaining, right?! I’m sure your first idea for a primetime porn parody would be Curb Your Enthusiasm, RIGHT?!

RIGHT?!

Well, too bad if it wasn’t, cause that’s what Hustler World decided to go with. That’s right- the most awkward show in the history of awkwardness is about to be made into an equally uncomfortable porno, called “This isn’t Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX” because apparently the nation has been crying out in desire for images of Larry David’s dong.

And on a sidenote, Hustler’s been getting real uncreative these days… Not only is the title lame, but all the characters have the exact same names as in the original show. Come on, Hustler, no Cherry David or Jeff Peene? BO-RING.

Here’s the not completely SFW trailer. Enjoy.