Back in my day, condoms were made of discarded snake skins! I had to watch 5 miles, in the snow, uphill BOTH WAYS, to pick them up from a witch doctor with a lazy eye!  ON TOP OF THAT, you had to rubber-band them around your junk! If you were LUCKY, the snake skin wasn’t poisonous, or else you AND your lady would end up with the hospital with elephantitis of the private parts! Think about THAT!

– Someone’s creepy grandpa

Nowadays, condoms are getting all sorts of newfangled. Flavors, vibrations, colors, lubricants… condoms have basically become as pimp-able as your ride. Trojan’s new “Fire and Ice” condoms are no exception — they have a “warming and tingling” lubricant, which apparently “brings more passion and excitement.”

According to the product testers at Asylum, though, it feels like like “passion” and more like “acid rain and ice cubes running over your skin” (not an actual quote).

read more about the disastrous testing at the source.

Sure, Trojan is the best selling condom company, but let’s be honest, Durex takes the cake when it comes to ad campaigns. I guess Trojan’s pig commercial was okay, and those ones from the 90s that showed couples in the throes of ecstasy were like the first porn you ever saw which was AWESOME, but Durex is still the King.

First the sexy balloon animals, and then the chocolate condom milkman, and now this simple, direct ad that went out yesterday:

just. plain. awesome.

If I were to think of one sexy gentleman on the planet that I’d want plastered on a condom, it would most definitely be Pope Benedict of the Catholic Church. Something about that Dart Sidious face and creepy white robe just gets me riled up, y’know?

img @ condoomfabriek.nl

Luckily, Dutch Condom company De Condoomfabriek ( The Condom Factory) has created a line of condoms with the Pope’s likeness on them to hand out this weekend at a Catholic Church event, to promote safe sex and unwanted pregnancies, and to make a point about the church’s opposition to birth control and contraceptives. This is made apparent by the text written on the condom, “I SAY NO!” followed by “We Say Yes!”

However, if anyone actually has the will power to get it on with a miniature Pope Benedict on their junk, well… the jury’s still out on that one.

Full Story at Reuters

Is your internal clock ticking? Feeling the need to procreate and enjoy the wonder of making a baby? This is a disease that is currently making a Bubonic plague-like rampage across America, a fact I’ve deduced due my Facebook friends list thumbnails being about 40% baby photos.  Don’t worry, though, there are many antibiotics for this bacterial outbreak, from birth control to condoms to abstinence (just kidding, that’s awful).

However, if you really want to stem the flow of paternal instinct pouring from your hormones, all you need to do is check out this site: Sh*tMyKidsRuined.com. Overflowing with child-induced disasters like destroyed furniture, broken china, and something called “mustard butt”… it’s enough to turn you off to the idea of kids for another, eh… 10 years?

img @ deiph.flickr

Hooking up in public is one of the most exhilarating and spontaneous things to do with boyfriend/girlfriend or just a booty call! Instead of your usual indoor bed or couch activity, taking your naughty business outside can be a great way to spice up your sex life. However, there is always a certain risk to gettin’ it on in public, from getting caught by a kid to getting a ticket that could cost you a grip of money. To avoid these potentially awkward (or costly) situations, here are three tips to make your public hook up a good one!

1. No planning ahead

Deciding that you and your date are going to have public sex that night is just kind of a buzz kill. The heart-pounding, nervous excitement of public hook ups is 50% of the fun! Wait for a spur of the moment lust to spring the question. It’ll make you look less conspicuous when you walk into a club if you don’t look like you’re planning on breaking the rules.

2. Be sly

Although the fear of getting caught is kind of exciting, you don’t want to risk an expensive ticket for public indecency. Instead of getting it on in the middle of the dance floor, find a secluded corner. And while car sex is awesome, move your car from the middle of the parking lot to a remote area of the lot where less cars are parked.

3. Be creative

Police officers and security guards are on the prowl for teenagers knockin’ boots in the bushes in parks and high school hallways, so steer clear of the local schools and playgrounds, even after dark. Get a little more creative and try a mountain trail, or check out our list of the 5 Recession Proof Places to Have Public Sex!

http://www.yourtango.com/20085992/sex-public-beginners