According to a report by the AP, 39 percent of Americans think that marriage is becoming obsolete, or more specifically, that a married couple isn’t necessary to be called a family. Due to the findings, the US Census Bureau is actually planning on changing some of the questions for the 2020 Census. We think it’s a great sign – finally people are realizing that signing a contract and legally binding your lives together isn’t necessary to be happy or fulfilled.

This year reported the lowest marriage figures ever – hitting only 52% for adults 18 and over. So what is this? Is OBC no longer a fringe website? Are people finally listening to their evolutionary instincts that marriage, and monogamy, might not actually be part of our genetic code? That perhaps meeting, dating, and having fun together doesn’t necessarily have to end with a four-hour trip to the court house to report your enjoyment of each other to the federal government?

Well, suffice it to say almost half of Americans think so, and we think we might have a couple reasons why:

1) No one can agree on what marriage even means

The gay marriage debate, if anything, has proven one thing: no one even know WTF marriage means. Is it  up to the state? Is it up to the church? Is it personal and private and shouldn’t be interfered with by anyone? WHO EVEN KNOWS ANYMORE?

2) The process of getting married costs an obscene amount of money

Almost $20,000 to be exact. And on that note,

3) Your money becomes a matter of the state

Alimony. It’s an actual word referencing the fact that even if you GET DIVORCED, you have to keep “maintaining” or “supporting” your spouse. Yeeeah, no thanks. And let’s say you decide to pick up a skill that makes you the highest paid athlete of all time, your alimony could be, I don’t know, $750 MILLION.

4) Marriage makes you fat

FACT.

5) Why get married when you can enjoy yourself on OBC!

Am I right or am I right?!

Reasons to stay single #758,901 – 905: right there.

It’s that time of year again when the most joyous of celebrations falls upon us. When love and happiness and appreciation for our fellow man is at its highest: yes, you heard me, ITS COUGAR CRUISE TIME.

Hosted by the Singles Travel Company and The Society of Single Professionals, the cruise is set to depart from Miami, Florida on December 3rd. Its geared towards women in their 40s and 50s (the cougars) and men in their 20s and 30s (the cubs), and according to Rich Gosse, creator of the event, it is ” just a lot of cougars and cubs who get together and party ’til you drop.”

However, I must note that after last years (which we tragically missed and cried about for weeks), we could not for the LIFE of us find photos of. Why? What is the mystery? Why is is so GD secret?!!! WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT BOAT?!!!!

We may never know, but you could. Sign up for the Cougar Cruise here and let us know how it goes, preferably with photos and video.

Disclaimer: We neither endorse getting women “sloppy,” nor are we sure what “chocolate covered booty panties” are. That being said, enjoy.

1) Make your own wine

img @ australiantraveller

Using the straight-forward and totally idiot-proof instructions from Instructables, you can actually create high-proof, delicious wine (although your first time might end up tasting like a prison bed pan). By tweaking your ingredients are trying different forms of fermentation, you can not only stock your own home with delicious, cheap beverages, but also never have to buy a gift for any occasion ever again*. Nobody can turn down homemade wine because a) it’s “the thought that counts” and b) it’s BOOZE.

** Except baby showers and maybe your niece’s fourth birthday.

2) Host a wine and cheese party for your single friends

img @ vox.com

We all love a good house party — cheap beer, pizza, someone vomiting on the sidewalk outside your apartment… what’s not to adore? But sometimes it’s also fun to go for quality over quantity — and a wine and cheese night is the perfect way to do this: have each of your friends bring a bottle of their favorite wine (and no, two-buck-Chuck does NOT count) and a tray of their favorite cheeses. My personal favorites are Stilton, Brie, and the exceedingly rare Kraft “EZ CHEEZ”. Don’t even try and find the last one; it’s EXTREMELY out of your price range.

Bonus: the combination of intoxicants in the wine and the phenylethylamine in the cheese mean someone will be getting laid after the party. Guaranteed.

3) Create a Sideways drinking game.

Let’s be honest: no one really liked Sideways. Everyone said they liked it, but no one actually got through those two hours of pretentious bore without thinking “Oh my god, when will it end, Sandra Oh???” at least once. However, for the sake of our weekend, a Sideways drinking game is just the way to throw the movies bland uneventfulness back in its face. Get some cheap merlot (or crappy beer if you really want to stick it to the man) and gear up with this one rule: take a drink anytime one of the main characters does.

See you Monday when your hangover wears off. Happy Weekending!

img @ dailymail

In honor of  Unmarried and Single Americans Week, which started yesterday and goes until Saturday, BCU is going to update once a day with a hot idea for all of us smarter-than-the-average-bears out there who have made the socially, environmentally, and fiscally brilliant decision to stay single. From workout trends to vacation hotspots to entertainment ideas – this week is all about lovin’ the single life.

Today’s Tip:

Travel with arm candy!

According to researchers, going out with a member of the opposite sex who is attractive makes you seem more attractive by association. Called the “Hugh Hefner” syndrome, this interesting new insight explains why we tend to gravitate towards guys and girls who are with other attractive people. Based on the most biological of reasons (in the animal kingdom, males who are paired up seem genetically superior), Dr. Anthony Little of University of Stirling found that  in a study comparing men in pictures, “even just having a picture of a woman smiling at him in a picture was enough to boost his appeal” (uh oh, this sounds like profile picture advice, too!).

So what’s our tip for the day? Sign up a sexy single friend of the opposite sex to be your arm candy for the night and hit the town! Who says your wing-man has to be a man?!

We’re back tomorrow with more profile picture advice… a lesson in latitudes!

img @ 30sleeps

You know how sometimes you have those moments when a little voice in your head that tells you to do weird, creepy stuff? Like open your neighbors mail or look in someone’s window? But you don’t do it because that would be really creepy and would probably get you arrested?

Sometimes, when you’ve been broken up with, that little “crazy filter” gets turned off, and you start doing totally nuts, balls to the wall stuff to your ex, and everyone who is witness to it feels this weird mixture of repulsion and sympathy cause they “feel really bad” but also you are “f***ing nuts.” Here are a few of the craziest things exes do.

5) The endless phone calls

The thing about breaking up now versus breaking up in the 1500s is that nowadays you have 700 extra ways to get in contact with your ex.  Phone calls, texting, BBM, Facebook, and probably some even MORE ways that the youngins are thinking up every day. Back in the 1500s you had to physically stand by their door if you ever wanted to see them (re: #1 on the list), now you can sit on your couch and STILL continually be in contact with them.

4) The pretend “lets be friends” deal

No, you can not be friends. Maybe in like, 12 years, when you realize that “hey, other than the part where I broke your heart into  seven million pieces you liked me, right? Wanna grab a beer?” but until that time, nope. They will SAY they want to be friends but what they MEAN is they want to cry at you.

3) The angry thing

The angry thing is sort of paired up with the phone call part, because at some point the breaker becomes a “stupid selfish ass” and the breakee is “seriously under appreciated you stupid selfish ass.” The angry part lasts a long, long time.

2) The liar

Once you’ve gotten to the “acceptance” stage of the break up, where you realize that no, it’s not a joke, and yes, they don’t like you anymore, some decide to take it to the lying level. Some crazy lies we’ve heard: they’re on their death bed, they’re pregnant, and they’re “seriously going to drive this car off a cliff if you don’t come back to me.”

1) BREAKING AND ENTERING

Because nothing says “I miss you” like committing a felony!

Richard Butler, a Knoxville, TN man recently decided that he was going to take a big, ill-fated step when he purchased an engagement ring and planned a trip to a local mountaintop with his girlfriend to propose to her. Bethany Lott was a nature-lover, enjoyed hiking and even spent a 2 years in Utah exploring the mountains there. Aw, how cute, you might think. What a lovely, romantic gesture, you’re probably saying.

Well, hold that thought.

Once on the mountain, Richard Butler pulled out a ring to propose, lightning struck 3 times, throwing them each in opposite directions. Richard received 3rd degree burns, but his nature-loving girlfriend was tragically killed.

Now, not even BCU can try and poke fun at a man whose soon to be fiancee was struck and killed by lightening. But we can surmise other common proposal methods gone terribly wrong.

1) Ring in your food: As you smile while your lady takes a bite of her delicious pie, waiting for her to notice the ring, she bites into it, cracks her four front teeth, and runs out screaming.

2) In a hot air balloon: “Yes! YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!” as she pushes you in disbelief and you plummet 300 ft into a pen of rabid dogs.

3) On a Jumbotron at a sports event: You dropped 500 dollars on tickets and planned the flashing message with more passion than you have for Call of Duty. Unfortunately you forget she’s one of the few Sarah’s withOUT an H. Being ditched on the Jumbotron hurts almost as bad as the Lions losing. Again.

read the full story @ the guardian.co.uk

img @ timeinc

Celery is a very versatile vegetable, from being the garnish you ignore in your hot wing basket to “ants on a log” childhood lunch staples. However, recent studies have given guys a new reason to start chomping on that nothing-flavored plant: it’s makes you more attractive to women!

According to the authors of the book Stay Young: Ten Proven Steps to Ultimate Health, celery actually increases the amount of pheromones a man excretes in his sweat. Pheromones, of course are the chemicals that humans decipher as signals to, well, get some booty, so apparently, adding more celery to your diet will basically make women impervious to your sexual advances!

The effects of eating celery are almost immediate, which is great considering our need for immediate gratification, and they don’t stop once you’ve snagged the girl. The authors also say that eating celery will increase your sex drive and create stronger climaxes.

Get to the grocery store quick and “stalk” up on celery today before the word gets out! And don’t make fun on my dumb joke or I’ll be forced to punch you in the head.

Read more at Asylum

Is your internal clock ticking? Feeling the need to procreate and enjoy the wonder of making a baby? This is a disease that is currently making a Bubonic plague-like rampage across America, a fact I’ve deduced due my Facebook friends list thumbnails being about 40% baby photos.  Don’t worry, though, there are many antibiotics for this bacterial outbreak, from birth control to condoms to abstinence (just kidding, that’s awful).

However, if you really want to stem the flow of paternal instinct pouring from your hormones, all you need to do is check out this site: Sh*tMyKidsRuined.com. Overflowing with child-induced disasters like destroyed furniture, broken china, and something called “mustard butt”… it’s enough to turn you off to the idea of kids for another, eh… 10 years?

On top of the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce, there’s another reason that getting married will ruin your life, and if you’re a guy, it’s glaringly apparent: say goodbye to your bachelor life liberties.

1. Your “Floor-drobe”

img @ zpistole

Women are notorious for trying a million things on before deciding on an outfit, tossing things casually to the floor or bed after deeming them repulsive and unwearable. However, whether it be after we get home for the night, or the next morning, those clothes will go back in the closet for another try-on sesh later. Men, on the other hand, tend to throw everything on the floor immediately from the dryer, and then pick and choose from their floor-drobe what is least wrinkled to wear each day. Guess how many times that’s allowed to happen once you tie the knot: that’s right. Zero times.

2. Pantsless TV time

img @ weirdworm

Just FYI, we know  that on Sundays you move from your bed to the couch  for early morning football games without putting on pants. We also know you run to put on pants right before we get there so you don’t look like a hobo, because there is only one reason a man in pajama pants would be panting. We’re confused and turned off by this practice, but whatever, you’re a bachelor. Once you get married, pantsless TV becomes prohibited.

Also, how come you have time to put your football jersey on but not pants?

3. Shower Beers

img @ webshots

Something about a cold frosty beer mixed with a steamy shower is totally refreshing. I know, cause I’ve done it. However, if you’re bringing a beer into the shower, it has to be a can, and once you get married, crappy canned beer is only allowed during football games and barbeques. Oh, the humanity!

4. Not having food

img @myspaceantics

Why is it that whenever we have the unfortunate task of opening your refrigerator there is only beer and like, mayonnaise in there? You’re going to the store to buy beer anyway, why can’t you just swing through a couple aisles and get food while you’re at it? Whatever. Either way, once you get married, grocery trips are going to include grocery lists, and a woman + grocery list + envelope of coupons = Not fun.

5. Videogames till 5 am

img @ gamepro

We’re in an age when being annoyed with a guy playing video games is like being irritated that the sun is so damn hot. It’s going to happen, there is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well find something good in it. With the sun- get a tan. With a dude- take his credit card to go shopping. Just kidding, that would be illegal.  Anyway- guys- once you get married, your video game privileges are limited to an hour a day or when you can sneak off to a friends house. You’ll feel like your 12 again, and not in a good way.