The Most Important 2012 NFL Draft News

Although I try to write this blog from the view of a worldly, knowledgeable dude who knows how to fix cars and tie ties and skateboard, the truth is I am just a 20-something woman with a slight appreciation for those things. True, I’m not sure what a “carburetor” is, and hockey might as well be a foreign language, but I try my best to understand them so I can share such news right here at BCU. It IS a university, after all, and universities are meant for taking too many shots and hooking up with a chubby pledge in his dorm room learning new things.

So, this morning, I scrubbed the interwebz for NFL draft news, because I know that the draft is an important part of the football season, and thusly a VERY important part of the male psyche. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand a g*ddamned word of any of it, except for one detail that spans the aisle between sports dudes and trying-hard-to-understand-sports ladies.

Her name is Lauren Tannehill, and she is the newly married wife of just-drafted Ryan Tannehill, who was picked up yesterday by the Miami Dolphins. And she. Is. BANGIN’. Observe:

As BuzzFeed reported, the Twittersphere went nuts over the appearance of a blonde bombshell, and we can understand why. In a time of year when the most lady-like person you see on ESPN is Madame Tebow (oooh, BUUURNNN), the arrival of a petite, gorgeous-smiled woman like Mrs. Tannehill stokes a flame in guys that can only be tamed by four uninterrupted hours of Madden 2012 and some vigorous masturbation.

I may not be able to share with you the biggest draft “steals” or “disappointments,” or why Roger Goodell looks like Kevin Costner with allergies, but hey, I showed you the hottest girl of the NFL draft. That has to count for something, right?